How to Gain Respect and Support for Yourself and Your Business
By: Olakunbi Korostensky
"He that respects himself is safe from others; he wears a coat of mail that none can pierce"
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.
To gain respect from others, you have to respect yourself first. People will give you their undying respect as
long as they recognise that you portray these 3 key attributes: trustworthiness, integrity and mindfulness. Because
having these qualities demonstrates your level of consciousness and maturity.
When people respect you, it is easier to get their support. Getting people to give you continuous support, also
requires you to apply yourself. Here are ways to help you make an impact on people whom you want respect and
support from.
1. Be exuberant and passionate about what you do and your life.
People love those who exude vibrancy and passion about their life, particularly about what they do. Think of this:
how stimulating do you find people who are forever talking about their "great ideas" and what they want to do and
yet, never starting anything? Now that's a damper!
2. Be unique and individualistic in your views and opinions.
Are you unique and stand out with your own style and personality? If you are afraid to voice your opinion, and
would rather fit in, I can assure you that it will be difficult to command respect from others. And without
respect, no support. This doesn't mean that you have to constantly come up with new innovations. It simply implies
that you don't suck up to people, just because you want validation. The best validation is to be true to
yourself.
3. Be a great listener. All great listeners are magnetic and charismatic.
There is no charm that equals that of a good listener. Here is an experience I had in a restaurant with my husband
not too long ago. I noticed that my husband was fascinated by a woman sitting a few tables way from us.
When I asked him what got him so fascinated about her. He replied that the woman was just fascinating to watch,
because she was listening so intently to her partner. Her eyes were on him, as she leaned forward, giving him her
feedback, and at the same time not interrupting him. While she let him know that she was hearing him, she also held
up her end of the conversation.
Then my husband said something remarkable: "She's the kind of woman I normally wouldn't pay attention to on the
street, but while sitting there, listening and being interested the way she's doing now, makes her attractive."
True listening embodies careful attention, patience and honestly wanting to understand what the other person is
saying. It also fosters good relationship.
4. Be a life long student. Let people know that you're willing to learn from them and be genuine about it.
Learning is growing, and growing is learning. You cannot learn all by yourself. To truly grow, you need others
along the way. And when you show people your willingness and enthusiasm to learn from them, you'll be amazed how
helpful and happy they will be to support you.
Be open and get to know people who are different from you. If you're interested in something, never be afraid to
ask questions. You won't be ridiculed for showing real interest.
Do you know people who have stopped learning? Do you find them interesting to have around? Probably not! So do
yourself the favour of becoming an avid learner.
5. Be authentic and reliable.
Before you make a promise, make sure you can deliver. Keeping your word is very crucial to building trust and
credibility. There's nothing more detrimental to your image, than having people believing in you and letting them
down.
There are times you may genuinely try to fulfil your promise and it just doesn't work out. In that case, be
honest about it and apologize. No one will hold that against you.
6. Be generous.
A generous heart gives freely without having any expectactions. Don't try to buy people's loyalty or support. It
will backfire on you! You will reap more benefit and reward from giving truly from your heart, rather than being
calculating. Even if you don't get something in return, the eternal laws of reciprocity will find a way to balance
things out for you and give you your dues.
7. Be direct and have boundaries.
When you have something to say, just say it and let people know where you stand. Letting people know what you want
and don't want, liberates you and those around you. Don't allow people to walk all over you. Let them know your
boundaries.
For instance, to avoid lying about a proposition which may not interest you, an appropriate answer could be:
"I'm sorry that doesn't work for me right now". This is a straightforward and truthful answer making it easy for
you and for others to move on.
In conclusion, do you trust and respect yourself? If you don't, no one else will. This especially means be true
to yourself and what you believe in. Just as Ralph Waldo Emerson said "Whatever games are played with us, we must
play no games with ourselves".
Author Bio
Kunbi Korostensky, N.D., Psychotherapist and Certified Life Coach is specialised in
supporting people in transition, turn the changes in their lives into invigorating joy and happiness. View her
ebooklet Top 10 holistic Questions to Embrace Change and Grow at: www.embracingchanges.com/Books-and-Tools-to-facilitate-Changes.html or email: kunbi@embracingchanges.com.
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